And now, its all clear to me.

Im glad. Im glad I dint confess it to him.
Im glad I dint toss my self respect into a gutter. Im so glad i made this decision. Im so glad that now I dont have to worry and spend hours thinkingggg and planingggg of how ill tell him. Im glad. Very glad.

But.

Now that I have this sheepish “letting-go” thought in my mind…I have started feeling empty. Like all the energy that he passed through me is being withdrawn. I feel like I have been pushed into that aimless mode all over again.  Now again, when I look up at the skies I see only clouds. No beauty. I can only see the birds flying. Not playing. When I board my bus every morning..all I want is my stop to come cuz I get tired of breathing in the dust coming in through the windows-not like how I found the polluted scene beautiful in the past few days. Now everything seems dreadful- everything tasteless. Like I have lost the touch of life. Bad food tastes bad. Good food tastes bad too.

image

Everything is going on like a horror movie. And I know there are chances of me getting rid of this feeling. A possibility- that is to go tell him I love him. Alot. But as I said it is simply a ‘possibility‘ that he will love me back which means there is an equal chance of a no. And the latter will just drag me to another stage of hell I dont wish to see. Also…a no shall simply ruin my dignity.

Hence, let me just shut up.

Yeah. I think i should just shut up.

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2 thoughts on “Dear me, shut up!

  1. When you like a person, everything abt the person, people around and surroundings gets filled with positive energy. And when we move on, we think of possibilities and all the negative thoughts which make us sad. Best thing would be, to not get emotionally dependent on anyone. Lolz. Saves my positive energy bank. Be happy, travel, enjoy nature and be inspired πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

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