“I dont really know what this word up there really means. I dont know how and when exactly its supposed to be used and to whom.”
Recently I met this guy. He is senior to me. And let me tell you he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Like ever. Being with him I have realized that beauty is not meant for the eyes-not meant to be seen but to be felt. No wonder the blind claim to ‘see’ the beauty of the world.
He is a simple guy. He dresses in the most simple thing (Okay. Not exactly simple. Coz in a world like this you can afford to be ‘simple’ to only a certain extent). He has a brain which most guys of our generation lack. -.-. I am not sure if he has a heart though. Okay…I mean biologically he does- if you get what I mean.
Also, he has the most beautiful eyes on the face of earth. The most. They are somewhat hazel and with that soft tinge of warmth. I wouldnt mind spending my life there. The most amazing part is that everytime – mark you, ‘everytime’ I look into his eyes I feel as though he has got all the secrets of the universe (including my own)hidden deep in his eyes made into a tiny bundle. As though they have been as old as time. Oh! They are just too pretty.
I dont really know what it is to be in his arms cuz I have never been there and perhaps I will never be. Cuz that place is meant for someone of much more worth. Perhaps I shall never know if he has a heart..cuz I shall never get close enough to him to feel his heart beat. Perhaps I shall die ..wither in the midst of the wonder of how and why he is so- and-so. Perhaps I will never know what it is to feel his love.
But someone said ..love isnt about possesion. It is about appreciation. Therefore I have no choice , but to wait.
I shall wait to be loved. Wait to feel the beauty .
Though the funny part is that I shall never gather enough courage to confess it to him. Never. And so he shall never know. This is even worse. What if the beauty I adore ….finds the same in me. What if something that could be….will not be just because of my hesitation?I dont need regret. Neither do I want disappointment. Its a hard choice. Help me.
Alas! Only once. Only if I could smell his love. Once. Taste and know what ‘the beautiful’ is. Once. Just once. 🙂